2005 MSU Sideline Story

Skip Long was the winning bidder of the sideline pass for the Missouri State football game.  The following is his unedited report.

First of all, Dan from Channel 8 in Tulsa was screaming "you HAVE to let me in, cause I'm from the ABC affiliate and here are my credentials!!"  You see, the girl in charge of Gate C must have been born in Texas, cause she somehow thought that this man with the 400 pound camera, 3800 feet of microphone cables, ponytail and all, was indeed .... perhaps.... a terrorist.  But in true Arkansas fashion, the girl from Gate C told the man he'd have to go through the security gate down on the other side of town before being allowed on the field.  Meanwhile, Barb and I jumped over the field level barrier to shouts of "did you see those two yahoos run down this dang aisle and JUMP over the fence?"  Heh heh, the story begins. 

I jumped first, then Barb.... I'd given orders for her to jump into my arms, but.....

Half an hour later the medics revived me just as the HOGS were running out on the field.  So I followed and ran out on the field too and started taking my pix, only to be caught in a human stampede of costumed and big men-children screaming GIT THEM MIZZOU WANNABEES. SKUNK THEM.  SOOOUIEEE.  SQUEAL, etcetera, etcetera.  (thirteen of them actually ran over me and hurt my jaw.....)

A few minutes later I found myself standing near Coach Nutt.  The following is how I’d like to remember it……

"Hi Coach, how's it going?  Let the freshmen loose and throw deep as often as you can."

"Who the heck are you and how the heck did you get down here?"

"I have the pass"  (heh heh...I had him here, cuz he looked at my hardware given me by the Tulsa Razorback Club, and he knew I was legal.

"Well try not to get in the way, and try not to get hurt; and stay 200 feet away from me."

"Yes sir"

"By the way, your jaw is bleeding.  What the heck....?"

By that time, Felix Jones broke his 238 and a half yard run around the left end I cheered like a screaming banshee.......and found myself not exactly on the sidelines.  It was then that State Trooper Buck Gityourbigoldbuttoffthefieldnowboy promptly almost darn near caused my little wife to pass out as a result of his physical manhandling of my.....ahem.....certain physical well-being.

Score was now 431 to 10.

Then Barb asked why I kept staring at the nice young man talking into the microphone.

It was then I introduced her to Quinn Grovey!

We got a pix of Quinn Grovey's arm around my shoulders!!!!  Is that cool or what?  He evened signed my cap!

By that time the score was 717 to 12.

Then I met the punter.  Barbara said "you're so cute, may I introduce you to my husband?"

By now old State Trooper Buck Gityourbigold.... had gotten the nod from Frank Of The Ozarks and given me my kitchen pass.... so the punter ignored me and autographed Barbara instead.  (this is a true story).

Halftime found the Hogs ahead 4000 to 15, so Barb went for hotdogs and I introduced myself to Missy, Buffy, Bitsy, Luella, Brenda, and Marci and immediately found out that you couldn't meet the Hog Cheerleaders without also meeting Bruce, Brian, Bert, Bartholomew and Bennett.  (this is a true story)

Many more pix ensued, but I can't show them to you cause Barbara said so........ go figure.

After halftime it was even more fun.  Conversations with the world's three tallest men, IE, Scott Hastings, Leotis Harris and Frank Broyles.  Coach Broyles said, "Yeahsuh Skipah, Ahll let your wife Barbara take a picture with me as long as you don't run out onto the field again, okay, promise?"  (uh, ahem, not exactly true....) 

But I DID get the pix of a lifetime!!!!!

He is such a Southern Gentleman!  Barbara talked and talked and talked to him.  I was so jealous that I made her walk back to Tulsa! 

By the 4th Quarter Barbara and I were smoozing with all the regulars that had been pulled from playing, and one of them asked me a really stupid question.  "Where did you get those stupid looking shorts, sir?"  His name might have been Peyton, but I’m not exactly sure.  Anyway, my fellow Hog fans, those Razorback football players of today sure don’t remember 1972, do they!!!?????  I mean come on; I’ve been wearing those shorts for 33 years!  They’re classics!

The game ended with the sideline referee letting Barbara blow the final whistle on the sole condition that I would never ever show up on one of his sidelines again.  He made her promise.

It was then that State Trooper Buck Gityourbigold.... finally smiled at me and we CALLED THEM HOGS ONE LAST TIME….together.

In summary, watching the University of Arkansas Razorbacks play Southern Missouri State while standing on the sidelines was pure and simple, four of the finest hours of my life.  (Barbara got lots of autographs and is spending most of her free time punting nerf balls in the backyard while giggling, "he was so cute, he was, he was, he was...."

However....the biggest laugh of the entire evening was when I met the BOSS HOG and he said he wanted to write me a question on one of my Doe's Eat Place business cards.  Dummy as I was, I gave him a card and and pen and then helped him bend down on the ground (see the pix) and watched him write the following...... (see pix)...... "CAN I EAT FREE?" 

I laughed then, I did.  But somehow it’s not funny right this moment……

Anyway fellow Hawg Brethren of mine, I promise you this.....

Fifty Yard seats ain't nothing!

Press Box seats ain't nothing!

Pure and simple, there just ain't nothing beats watching a Razorback game on the sidelines!

To the Tulsa Razorback Club we say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Please, please, please try to get SIDELINES PASSES for ALL the next hundred home games, because my wife Barbara sure did have a real good time. 

Sincerely,

Skip Long